Are you a Poor Reader?

Yes.

If you're my age or older you probably are. It wasn't until the mid-90's that phonics became a standard method to teach reading to youngsters.

If you are like me: you got the "Whole Language Method" where they throw a book and a dictionary at you and tell you to grow some pubes.
(which is why I am HARDCORE)

Anyways - apparently those who learned how to read using the Whole Language Method are often considered "poor readers" who have issues "correctly pronouncing new words" because we have "less experience with the rules of phonology"

Well that's crap - just because our mommies didn't breastfeed us consonant clusters until we were 6 years old, doesn't mean we can't hold our own!

Okay so here is a basic test my Professor showed me: Below are non-existent but phonologically possible words - read them outloud to yourself

- grould
- blave
- bloes
- tays




So if you are a "skilled reader" you should have read those as "mold, save, toes, days". And a common sign of a poor reader is reading them as "would, have, does, says"


So - me? I read "grould" as in "gruel-d", and "bloes" as in "shoes". Either I am a poor reader or a MAD GENIUS. Most likely the former.


Whole-language learners out there- I think we have been powned. If you wanna prove the MAN wrong take this free reading aptitude test: http://www.test4free.com/
it takes a while to finish but I think you'll be just as disappointed with the results as I was:

Comprehension Results:









Phonics Results








Ow, my pride.

The McGurk Effect

It may sound like he is saying "DA"
Now watch it with your eyes closed, it probably sounds like he is saying "BA".
While watching - open and close your eyes, the sound should change between "DA" and "BA".

(unless you are a pussy)

What causes this?
Our mind takes visual cues when listening to people talk - the video is of a man articulating the sound "GA", so our mind compensates for the mismatch by finding some in between sound of "GA" and "BA", which is "DA"

Our mind interferes with our audio-visual reception all the time. Damn Mind!

oh god- did your balls just drop?
not for pussies!

Interview with a Synesthetic Part I

This semester I befriended a synesthetic named Kathy in my Semantics class. I use the term "befriended" loosely - really I bring flash cards to class, draw symbols everywhere and poke her, and she somehow tolerates it.

(Maybe my voice gives her orgasms! Or MAYBE SHE SEES ME IN TECHNICOLOR AND IT MAKES HER GIGGLE!)

So it seems she experiences the following synesthesias: symbol-color, sound-tactile, and sound-color. This post I will focus on symbol-color.

Things I've discovered so far when poking my Freshman Test Subject / Muse:

1. The subject sees separate mono-colored words and symbols in different colors. Depending on what she focuses on, the colors can change. Reading the word " E...L...O...Q...U...E... N... T" slowly, makes all the letters a different color- but reading it together usually will created a single colored word such as "ELOQUENT".

2. The subject perceives same-colored words when the two words are semantically related, also in related sentences and even paragraphs! In a list of words, ones that are related will "pop out in a different color" even "flash to change to a color of a previous related word". When reading an essay, same-subject sentences will pop out in the same color - EVEN PARAGRAPHS!
(Note to self - this is when I started considering Kathy a super-hero rather than a synesthetic - with super-powers I must steal.)

3. Kathy, as well as many other synesthetics can read at an alarmingly fast rate. The average American reading speed is between 200-250 words per minute - while Kathy clocks in at about 980 wpm. She says its because there are entire words she can skip over by just seeing its color - mostly function words such as: and, to, with, a, the, etc.
(Note to self - acquire super-power stealing abilities, contact writers from Heroes NBC,
inquire about Peter Petrelli)

4. The Subject only perceives color in words, letters or symbols that have some semantic meaning for her. She claims when she was learning French - she could always tell how well she was doing by reading a paragraph - only the words she understood would be in color while the unknown would stay its original pigment. Apparently learning new vocabulary is extremely easy for her, however, because other semantically related words appear in the same color - its like color-coding your own lexicon (fucking awesome).

5. The subject cannot stand modern art. She says the more complicated the patterns, the more the figures and symbols "flash" in her mind - sometimes almost as painful for her as an epileptic watching Gundam. So just to make sure Kathy doesn't read this and sue me - lets put up some garlic for the vampire:

Oh Klimt- only thinking of yourself, huh, never about the synesthetics that just had an aneurysm over your spirally, triangly, rectangley masterpiece. SHAME ON YOU!


6. Her symbol-color associations are almost entirely arbitrary. Calm words are not blue, angry words are not red. The word BLUE, for her is seen as orange. My last post pertaining to the Stroop Effect simply does not apply to her. It makes one wonder how her lexicon is stored in the big beautiful synesthetic brain of hers.

(Note to self - NBC Studios has not returned phone calls - synethesia IS genetic - find way to obtain Subject's fertilized eggs).

The Stroop Effect

Name the color the word is printed in (but not out loud, lest you look like an rtard):


RED BLUE PURPLE INDIGO, WTF IS INDIGO

GREEN YELLOW ORANGE



aw, that was so easy, congratulate yourself with a pat on the back and a root beer float.

How about these ones:


ELEPHANT PUPPY HAMSTER

DONKEY KITTEN SEA OTTER



And what color are these words printed in?

BLUE YELLOW ORANGE

GREEN PURPLE RED



If you are like most people - and are not synesthetic - the colors of the third grouping of words were probably a little harder to discern than the second and first. This (according to many linguists) is because we access our own lexicon in "lexical neighborhoods" and because these words are grouped together it is hard to access two words in the same neighborhood at one time.


Stroop didn't have many "colored" friends, but his Jamaican Roommate, named Whitey mc White White was often offended.